Don't be too quick to be offended - you'll find a list of things men will never say at:
www.cybersalt.org/pearly-gates-jokes/things-men-will-never-say

You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch football again?

While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.

I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's Day present!

Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.