Quotes
Our collection of inspiring quotes.
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"I'm looking for a loophole."
- W.C. Fields, who had been flipping through the Bible on his deathbed, 1946
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"An open mind is considered as a fine thing -- except when you use it as a garbage can."
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"Opinions are like the nose on our faces: Everyone has one and there are usually a couple of holes in them."
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"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." - Sam Levenson
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"I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn't like it when you join in."
- Mick Miller
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"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you
have car windows." - Erma Bombeck