Entertainment

*A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:*

Oh! That's so cute!

Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Oh no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Oh, that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders.

Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms. See how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

*A Man's Conversation About a Haircut:*

Haircut?

Yep.

The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in our Kentucky church decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals.

"I'm going to describe something to you.  Let's see if you can guess what it is.  First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees."

The children looked at her blankly.

"I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns."

No response.  This wasn't going well at all!

"I'm usually brown or grey, but sometimes I can be black or red."

Desperate, the teacher turned to a perky four-year-old who was usually good about coming up with the answers.  "Michelle, what do you think?"

Michelle looked hesitantly at her classmates and replied, "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus--but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!"

Susan Webber

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children.

The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two O's.

He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show), . . . you get the idea.

One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.

"So vat's the problem?" Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.

Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing," he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 O's, but your signature of record has just 2."

Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble," he said, "but my vife said that since I'm now such a high-class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.

"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."

The next time came around and she asked again.

The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"