Entertainment

A man has not been feeling well and goes to the doctor for a check up. After the physical examination and a battery of blood tests and X-rays, he asks the doctor about his situation.

The doctor replies, "You are very sick. You might not live longer than perhaps three or four months."

The man, in despair, yet, with a glimpse of hope says, "If you don't mind, doctor, I would like to have a second opinion."

"Okay," the doctor answers, "you're ugly, too!"

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question - worth 500 points!

"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer."

The contestant, a man in his early thirties, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that he had drawn such an easy question.  "Rudolph!" he said confidently, "and, ...Olive!"

The studio audience started to applaud (like the little sign above their heads said to do,) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain...  'Olive?!?'"

"You know," the man circled his hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose.  And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed.  *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

The following advertisement appeared in a physical culture magazine:

"Here's a good test for stomach muscles. Clasp your hands over your head and place your feet together on the floor. Now bend to the right at the waist as you sit down to the left of your feet. Now by sheer muscular control, haul yourself up, bend to the left and sit down on the floor to the right of your feet. Keep this up and let us know of the result."

The first letter received by the magazine said "HERNIA"

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:

https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober

Two goobers go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"