Entertainment

Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm not about to play golf with Jim Walsh anymore. He cheats."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green."

"That's possible."

"Not when I had it in my pocket!"

Message from: Rome January 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K problem?  This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left.  I don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around.  Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards.  You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left it to us to sort out at the last minute.

I spoke to Caesar the other evening.  He was livid that Julius hadn't done something about it when he was sorting out the calendar.  He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty.
We called in the consulting astrologers, but they simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work.  As usual, the consultants charged a fortune for doing nothing useful.
As for myself, I just can't see the sand in an hourglass flowing upwards.

We have heard that there are 3 wise guys in the east working on the problem, but unfortunately they won't arrive till it's all over.  Some say the world will cease to exist at the moment of transition.  Anyway we are continuing to work on this blasted Y zero K problem and I will send you a parchment if anything further develops.

Plutonius.

My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we realized we didn't have batteries. He stepped over to a counter to get the batteries but couldn't attract the attention of the clerk.

I waited for a little while then said, "I'll get a clerk over here real fast." With that, I pulled out my pocket tape measure and started measuring a large TV set.

Amazingly, a clerk leap-frogged over several pieces of furniture to reach my side in jig time. To his "May I help you?" I said, "Of course. I'll take 8 of those batteries over there."

Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.

As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs used to show the number of hamburgers the giant chain had sold.  One day, that number stood at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB).  Within months or even weeks, that number would roll over to 100GB.  McDonald's signs, however, were designed when the prospect of selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs only had two numerical places.