Entertainment

Top Ten Silliest Questions asked on a Cruise Ship

- Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line

10. Do these steps go up or down?

9. What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?

8. Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship?

7. Does the crew sleep on the ship?

6. Is this island completely surrounded by water?

5. Does the ship make its own electricity?

4. Is it salt water in the toilets?

3. What elevation are we at?

2. There's a photographer on board who takes photos and displays them the next day... the question asked: If the pictures aren't marked, how will I know which ones are mine?

1. What time is the Midnight Buffet being served?

From the church dictionary:

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:

1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph didn't have private health cover.

2. The Biblical proof that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in most Churches.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who "don't" know the seating capacity of a pew!!

The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre d, "but there are no tables available."

"One moment, my friend," said the man, drawing himself up. "I happen to be Gregory R. Carutheres, the sportsman."

"I'd like to accommodate you, Mr. Caruthers, but there just isn't a table available this evening."

"I bet if President Bush came in and asked for a table, there'd be one available."

"Yes-s-s," the other admitted, "I suppose there would be a table available for President Bush."

"Good! I'll take it. George isn't coming!"

When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept of marriage. But anyway, I got out our wedding album, thinking visual images would help, and explained the entire service to her.

Once finished, I asked if she had any questions, and she replied, "Oh. I see. Is that when Mommy came to work for us, daddy?"

  1. Meet You in the Sky
  2. Deck Praise
  3. Roadside Support
  4. Egg Timing

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