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An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible."
As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife stepped in, trying to help.
"Please don't pay any attention to him, pastor. He only repeats what he hears others say."
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The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years."
The other woman said, "Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time."
"My word," the first mother said. "You must be so proud."
"I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party."
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"I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.
"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."
The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"
"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."
"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."
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He was taking the 5 year olds home for the first time and he wasn't sure where everyone lived. He ask this little girl if she knew where she lived.
She said, "This bus knows where I live".
He said, "How does it know where you live?"
The little girl said, "Look up there," pointing to the dash board, "there is a little green light that will start blinking at my house."
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In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son.
As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child;
"You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to do it again."
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Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
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