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Entertainment

Issue #3339

Details
Published: 19 July 2010


Issue # 3339

Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:

123inkjets.com - Printer Ink, Toner, & More!

Cybersalt News

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

No, I haven't been kidnapped and brainwashed by Lionel Ritchie. But I have been busy pastoring, acting as power of attorney for someone, and avoiding the paparazzi who keep mistaking me for Tom Selleck (a lifelong problem).

So what's new in the last while? I'm glad you asked.

My wife has a new post on her "Simply Susan" blog. You can read "Adventure Unleashed" at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/simply-susan

There is also a new item on the FunBlog. If you like small garages described in a language I don't speak I think you will enjoy it.
https://www.cybersalt.org/funblog


I hope you enjoy the rest of today's digest.


| Or Be A Cybersalt Fan on facebook_199x75

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Manservant"

Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?" asked the minister.

"I guess so," answered the man.

"Can you polish all the silver, wash all the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the lawn, wash windows, iron clothes and keep the house neat and tidy?"

"Say, preacher," said the young fellow rather meekly, "I came here to see about getting married but if it's going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out right now."

You can rate this joke at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh-archive/4288



Today's CleanPun - Lost Envelope

Young Mary was a dutiful child. She obeyed every rule and never once contradicted the commands that were issued daily to govern her life.

One day, when her aunt was bedridden with the flu, Mary was given the responsibility and duty of picking up her aunt's pay envelope. If the refrigerator was to be stocked for the week ahead, Mary and the rest of the family would need the money. The young girl duly went to the proper factory pay wicket, picked up the salary and hopped and skipped merrily homeward.

Alas and alack and other cries of lamentation! The envelope was jounced from her pocket. What consternation! What weeping! Mary was sent back over her route but to no avail.

Finally, she ran to the police station and cried to the desk sergeant, "I've lost my aunt's pay!"

"Cut the pig latin," the sergeant said, "just tell me where you lost them."
- By Himie Koshevoy


Today's One-liner

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish."


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org

Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/rdvote.htm

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Issue #3338

Details
Published: 19 January 2010


Issue # 3338

Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:

We all search the web!
When you search, search with Google on the Cybersalt sites.
We've got their safe search filtering always on!
Please use the following page for all your searching on the internet.

https://www.cybersalt.org/search


Cybersalt News

The audio recordings on the Westside Bible Church website have been updated. New services, messages, and baptisms can be found at:
http://www.westsidefamily.org/Baptisms

Did you hear that my wife and I both play the guitar and love performing duets on one instrument?  Yeah, I didn't hear that either. But the couple in the newest video on the funblog can - though I'm not sure they are a couple other than in the two people playing one guitar way.
https://www.cybersalt.org/funblog


| Or Be A Cybersalt Fan on facebook_199x75

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Cookie Calories"

A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In addition to the healthy items on his wife's carefully prepared list, the two of them returned home with a package of sugar-filled cookies.

"Why in the world did you buy those?" his wife asked. "You know they aren't good for you!"

"Oh, but don't worry, honey, these cookies have one-third less calories than usual in them," the husband replied.

The wife looked all over the package but couldn't find any claim to that fact, so she asked, "What makes you think that?"

"We ate about a third of the box on the way home."

You can rate this joke at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh-archive/4284


123inkjets.com - Printer Ink, Toner, & More!


Today's CleanPun - Sea Counselling

One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Dr. Alfred Werner, clinical psychologist.

The doctor smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages. "Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?"

"Swell," replied the Sea saltily.

"Then what, Pacifically, is the problem?"

"Well," the Sea swished sadly, "I'm getting tired of just going in and out every day, in and out, in and out, in and--"

"I understand," Dr. Werner interrupted hastily, "but I fear there's nothing to be done about it. For you see, my friend, you're just fit to be tide."


Today's One-liner

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org

Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/rdvote.htm

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Guitar Duet

Details
Published: 18 January 2010

Did you hear that my wife and I both play the guitar and love performing duets on one instrument?  Yeah, I didn't hear that either.  I can't play the guitar and neither can she.

However, this man and woman can play the guitar for sure.  Did you hear they are married?  Neither did I.  Perhaps they are.

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Cookie Calories

Details
Published: 18 January 2010
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In addition to the healthy items on his wife's carefully prepared list, the two of them returned home with a package of sugar-filled cookies.

"Why in the world did you buy those?" his wife asked. "You know they aren't good for you!"

"Oh, but don't worry, honey, these cookies have one-third less calories than usual in them," the husband replied.

The wife looked all over the package but couldn't find any claim to that fact, so she asked, "What makes you think that?"

"We ate about a third of the box on the way home."
Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Evion Babies

Details
Published: 15 January 2010

I don't know about you but when I think about Evian water I think about rollerskating babies. Yeah, I don't either.

Last Updated: 13 July 2011
  1. Scientist's Convention
  2. Issue #3337
  3. Smoke Detector Lesson
  4. Issue #3336

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3613

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 3221
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  13

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 3221

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1909

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 3221

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  1966

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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