You know you're a retiree-to-be when...
1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!"
2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year.
3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.
4. You find yourself saying, "Yes!" whenever an administrator or union officer asks you to be on a committee next year.
5. The custodian has complained to the principal that the trash he removes daily from your room is 10 to 20 times greater than any other room in the building - including the cafeteria.
6. You get in line at the copy machine, and realize you don't have anything to copy.
7. The teachers in the grade below you complain about how horrible their kids are, and you just smile.
8. The principal comes in for the final observation of the year, and you throw a party for your class with lots of snacks, games, and a visit from Frankie the clown.
9. You constantly find other teachers in your room measuring bookcases.
10. You respond to every new initiative with, "Been there! Done that!"
11. When the parent, who has complained about every teacher her kid has ever had, comes up to you and says, "My son is hoping to get you next year," you just smile!
12. On your way to the parking lot, you look up at the sky, and see 3 or 4 recent college graduates circling overhead.
13. Other staff members complain that they can't get into the rest room because you're always in there, laughing hysterically.
14. Behind you, as you're driving out of the parking lot, you hear the faint ringing of the dismissal bell.
15. Your final comments on the June report card are, "Bye!"
A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of the benefits of this profession," he explained, "is that we have built-in weather predictions."
"What do you mean by that?" asked one inquisitive visitor.
"When the cows are standing," the farmer explained, "it means no rain is likely for the next twenty-four hours. When they're lying down, it means it's going to rain."
"On our bus trip," another visitor piped in, "I saw half the herd standing and the other half lying down. What does this mean?"
The farmer flashed a smile and answered, "That means half of them are wrong."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
