You can lead a cat to water but you can't make it drink. Apparently it's also impossible to teach them how to drink properly. But then again, we all know that when it comes down to training pets to do tricks cat's aren't exactly the most teachable.
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He stopped crying, looked at me a bit bewildered, and asked, "God is in the toilet?"
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A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"
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He ordered a drink and took a sip. He then calmly turned his head in her direction, nodded politely as their eyes met, and asked, "So tell me, sweetheart, do I come here often?"
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https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober
A new goober skydiver and his instructor were high in the air when the student was getting ready to jump. Just before he was ready to leap his teacher gave him some final instructions.
"Listen carefully! You jump...count to 3...and pull your rip cord! If that doesn't work, pull the cord on your reserve chute! There will be a truck down there to pick you up!"
The goober took a deep breath and plunged into the open air. After free falling he counted to 3 and pulled his ripcord. Nothing happened. He pulled the cord on his reserve chute, and nothing happened. Totally disgusted, he said...
"I'll bet that stupid truck's not down there either!"
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