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Entertainment

Antique Tents

Once a year, the collectors of antique tents in Germany get together for a rally.

Last year, the organizers decided to hold it in Meinz. Unfortunately, the local burghers took a dim view of so great an influx
of tourists ruining their turf with tent pegs. The citizens organized themselves so thoroughly that they even had an anthem:

"Let Old and Quaint Tents Be Forgot and Never Brought to Meinz!"

One-liner #0803

"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve and middle age is when you're forced to."
- Bill Vaughn

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3824 - December 30, 2011


Issue #3824


Cybersalt News

Sorry for the lack of posts since Christmas Eve.  I wasn't planning on taking a break from working on the Cybersalt site, but a whole bunch of factors combined to bump it off my radar the last number of days.

Today, however, there is a new entry in the FunBlog.  It's an absolutely crazy video of Jeb Corlis flying in his wing suit.  Seriously, this guy is crazy.  You'll find the video at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/grinding-the-crack

Rev. James Snyder is also featured on the Cybersalt site again.  He has been looking back on the mistakes of this year and is wondering which of them to make again next year at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/if-you-cant-resolve-em-perfect-last-years-mistakes

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing. 


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Attainable New Year's Resolutions

new years_eveThis year, I resolve to...

- Gain weight.  At least 30 pounds.

- Stop exercising.  Waste of time.

- Read less.  Makes you think.

- Watch more TV.  I've been missing some good stuff.

- Procrastinate more.  Starting tomorrow.

- Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.

- Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

- Don't have eight children at once.

- Get in a whole NEW rut!

- Start being superstitious.

- Personal goal: bring back disco.

- Don't bet against the Minnesota Vikings.

- Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.

- Get the windows tinted.  Buy some fur for the dash.

- Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.

- Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

- Don't eat cloned meat.

- Create loose ends.

- Get more toys.

- Get further in debt.

- Don't believe politicians.

- Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.

- Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

- Stay off the International Space Station.

- Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.

- Associate with even worse business clients.

- Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.

- Wait around for opportunity.

- Focus on the faults of others.

- Mope about my faults.

- Never make New Year's resolutions again.

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0802

"The best thing about telepathy is...I know, right?"



Here is today's CleanPun

New Year's Resolutions

"800 X 600 would be too cramped. 1024 X 768 wouldn't be bad but would still be somewhat restrictive. 1920 X 1200. Those are dimensions I would love. Mom's asked us to choose resolutions for the New Year."
Foxtrot, by Bill Amend


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1254

"May you live all the days of your life."
- Jonathan Swift


Here is today's Illustration

You Will Never Be Sorry

You Will Never Be Sorry

...for thinking before acting.

...for hearing before judging.

...for forgiving your enemies.

...for being candid and frank.

...for helping a fallen brother.

...for being honest in business.

...for thinking before speaking.

...for being loyal to your church.

...for standing by your principles.

...for closing your ears to gossip.

...for bridling a slanderous tongue.

...for harboring pure thoughts.

...for sympathizing with the afflicted.

...for being courteous and kind to all.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

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Grinding the Crack

This is an absolutely amazing video of Jeb Corlis flying a wing suit.  If you only have time to watch a bit of it, start at the 1:25 mark.

One-liner #0802

"The best thing about telepathy is...I know, right?"

  1. New Year's Resolutions
  2. One-liner #0801
  3. One-liner #0800
  4. One-liner #0799

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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