Issue #4465
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and Happy 4th of July to all American Cybersaltines!
For some time now I have been wanting to visit "Big Lonely Doug," a 230 foot Douglas Fir tree left standing in a clear cut of trees. Doug is in the middle of nowhere, but I finally made it out to visit Doug with my friends Juan and Joyce Ruiz who came over from Port Angeles, Washington, for some adventure. As you can see form the two pictures below, Doug was really lonely and happy we visited.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Funny Quotes
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
- Red Buttons
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car
he sticks his head out the window.
- Steve Bluestone
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
- George Carlin
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
- Carol Leifer
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
- Roger Simon
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
- Dave Edison
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
- Johnny Carson
I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country.
Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.
- Jack Mayberry
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how
long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- John Mendoza
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
- Jeff Stilson
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
- Rita Mae Brown
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish-burger and I realize, Oh
no....I could be eating a slow learner.
- Lynda Montgomery
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1391
You don't stand alone. I also stand alone!
Today's Clean Pun
Seasonal Income
If money grew on trees, in the Fall you'd really be raking it in!
Today's Quote
Quote #1832
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today's Illustration
Couples Observation
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies!
Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said: "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.