Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
Rev. James Snyder was recently phoned by some computer scammers and he took it as an opportunity to have some fun. You can read "How Did the Devil Get My Cell Phone Number?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/how-did-the-devil-get-my-cell-phone-number
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Houdini Wannabe
A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.
Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini."
The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"
Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.
"Are you sure?" the deputy asked.
The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1137
You can't make everyone happy; you are not pizza.
Today's Clean Pun
Angles
Are you cold??
Go sit in the corner; it's 90 degrees!
... Isn't that acute joke?
Today's Quote
Quote #1585
"As followers of Christ we do not have the freedom to say anything we want, to blurt out whatever is on our mind."
- Tim Cameron
Today's Illustration
Directions to Our Father's House
*Directions to Our Father's House*
Make a Right onto "Believing Blvd."
Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.
From there, you must turn onto the "Bridge of Faith," which is over troubled water.
When you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and Keep Straight. You are on the "King's Highway" - Heaven-bound.
Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost. Then exit off onto "Grace Blvd."
From there, make a Right turn on "Gospel Lane."
Keep Straight and then make another Right on "Prayer Road."
As you go on your way, Yield Not to the traffic on "Temptation Ave." Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END. Pass up "Envy Drive, " and "Hate Avenue."
Also, pass "Hypocrisy Street," "Gossiping Lane," and Backbiting Blvd."
However, you have to go down "Long-suffering Lane," "Persecution Blvd.," and "Trials and Tribulations Ave."
But that's all right, because VICTORY Street is straight ahead! AMEN!!!!!
Send these directions to your friends so they will not get lost.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.