Cybersalt News
There is a new Funny Sign Picture on the Cybersalt Site. You will find "Buffet Warning" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-signs/buffet-warning
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Security Tips
The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep burglars away.
Dear Butcher: Starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!
Dear Letter Carrier: We found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our mail-slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of the openings. PS: Any sign of that book we sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"?
Dear Exterminator: Be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are!
To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck...
Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1080
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?
Today's Clean Pun
Circus Defense
If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
Today's Quote
Quote #1528
"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
- George Orwell
Today's Illustration
Hospital Waiting
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night, the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.
Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then, she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
"Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled. "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.