Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Mrs. Cybersalt and I are back from our time away focussing on the tasks and goals that kept us very busy from June 1 to July 6. During those 36 days, we travelled approximately 13,400km or 8350 miles by land, air, sea and even rail!
A large chunk of that travel was from Victoria to Banff and back for our denomination's national conference. The drive was wonderful and the conference was great - I think many of you would enjoy watching/listening to our main speaker (especially session #2) at:
www.agcofcanada.com/events/national-conference-2016
With the return to our regular Cybersalt schedule, I am happy to let you know there is a new funny cat page on the Cybersalt site. You'll find "Cat Cookie Thief" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-cookie-thief
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Politically Correct Cat Terms
Politically correct terms for cat owners:
- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.
- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.
- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.
- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.
- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1072
I'm ready to be a parent because I just told the oil change guy "no" 15 times in 30 seconds.
Today's Clean Pun
Summer Reading
Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome; it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.
Today's Quote
Quote #1520
"People ask me, 'Why pray if God is sovereign?' I respond, 'Why pray if He isn't?'"
- Michael Horton
Today's Illustration
The Intolerable Compliment
“We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character.
Here again, we come up against what I have called the 'intolerable compliment.'
Over a sketch made idly to amuse a child, an artist may not take much trouble: he may be content to let it go even though it is not exactly as he meant it to be.
But over the great picture of his life - the work which he loves, though in a different fashion, as intensely as a man loves a woman or a mother a child - he will take endless trouble - and would doubtless, thereby give endless trouble to the picture if it were sentient.
One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-nail sketch whose making was over in a minute.
In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.