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In Today's Issue
     ÂCybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday! There is even a new chicken themed funny car picture on the Cybersalt site today. You will find "Coop Car" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/coop-car
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
   ÂToday's CleanLaugh
Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies
*Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies*
- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #0973
I'm allergic to food – I break out in fat.
Today's Clean Pun
Cookie Cutter House
"I just don't want to live in a cookie cutter house."
- Gingerbread family
Today's Quote
Quote #1421
"The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it."
- @freesermons
Today's Illustration
Inheritances
Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars."
"To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar."
"To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000."
"And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
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