March 2019 - Monthly Archive

31 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

635

Cybersalt News - March 31, 2019

Sunday greetings everyone! At risk of making this sound like groundhog day, I think sending is back to normal. This week, Rev. James Snyder reminisces about the positive effect corporal punishment h... read more..

I Don’t Miss My Teacher’s Hickory Stick, but She Never Did

30 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1400

I Don’t Miss My Teacher’s Hickory Stick, but She Never Did

I am not sure why I think of some things, however, every occasionally I remember something that happened a million years ago. Or so it seems. This week for some reason, I hap... read more..

30 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

1267

Quote #1809

"I take refuge in the fact that while I don't know everything, I do know Someone who does!" - A.W. Tozer read more..

30 Mar

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1453

Feed the Ox

Go ahead and give your pastor a bonus based on church growth... it will bring a new meaning to the words Great Commission.... read more..

30 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

1015

One-liner #1367

"I am myself, and I'm going to continue to play that role!" - Richard Nixon read more..

30 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3646

Crossing the Road

There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the... read more..

30 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1100

Shopping Manners

One of the busiest times for a meat-department manager in a supermarket occurs when there is a sale on particular cuts. When we put cross-rib roasts on sale one day the result was predictable. I'd br... read more..

23 Mar

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1699

Quote #1808

"Patience is not about how long you wait, it is about how well you behave while you are waiting." - Unknown read more..

23 Mar

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1105

One-liner #1366

I used to think that marriage was a 50 - 50 proposition ... until I realized that I knew nothing about women or fractions. - Walter McLauren... read more..

23 Mar

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1253

Places to Go

I've been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito either. I hear no one recognizes ... read more..

Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

23 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3570

Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay? ~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that ... read more..

23 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

996

Grad School Romance

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new ... read more..

Learn To Recognize The Source of All Blessings

23 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

6395

Learn To Recognize The Source of All Blessings

In 1978, I was ordained to the gospel ministry. To mark this special event, my parents surprised me with a new 1977 Dodge Aspen, the most spectacular present I ever received. It was white, with a red ... read more..

21 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

701

Cybersalt News - March 21, 2019

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Also, happy Spring/Fall depending on the hemisphere you live in! And the visits continue; our daughter and grandson just left after a 2-week visit and now we are enjoying a... read more..

20 Mar

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

10318

How Not to Pass Your Driving Test

How Not To Pass Your Driving Test Turn the radio on. When the tester goes to turn it off slap his/her hand. Rev the car really high, turn to the tester, and say with an evil look, "Buckle up... read more..

20 Mar

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3213

These Don't Go Together

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations do not go together: A nose ring and bifocals Spiked hair and bald spots A pierced tongue and dentures Miniskirts and sup... read more..

20 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

2180

Quote #1807

"Be selective in your battles; sometimes peace is better than being right." - Unknown read more..

20 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6179

Captain Discipline

About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the chil... read more..

20 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1077

Meeting Expectations

Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?" ask... read more..

18 Mar

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1187

Woodn't You Know

Tree puns: always poplar!... read more..

18 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

1167

One-liner #1365

Even though I don't say so, I think you stink!... read more..

17 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

625

Cybersalt News - March 17, 2019

Sunday greetings everyone! I think technology and lack of sleep things have settled down here at Cybersalt World Headquarters. Today's mailing will hopefully go out and arrive according to ... read more..

The Question of the Disappearing Ice Cream

16 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1087

The Question of the Disappearing Ice Cream

A mystery has developed within the halls of our once peaceful domicile. At first, I did not think too seriously about it. Some things, if left alone usually take care of themselves. Of course, there a... read more..

16 Mar

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3375

Synthetic Diamond

An Irishman by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look a... read more..

16 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3651

Crate of Chickens

The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions... read more..

16 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1220

Script Ungratefulness

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a postcard in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this postcard for me? My art... read more..

14 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

1371

Quote #1806

"When my productivity was removed from my spirituality, I learned how beloved we are - apart from what we can do or accomplish for God." - Sarah Bessey read more..

14 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

1069

One-liner #1364

Acupuncture is pointless.... read more..

14 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

600

Cybersalt News - March 14, 2019

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Remember how I described last Wednesday was a doozy here at Cybersalt World Headquarters? Well yesterday was another one. I'm getting old fast enough with h... read more..

13 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1227

Honest Aging

My youngest son asked me how old I was. I answered, "39 and holding." He thought for a moment and then asked, "But how old would you be if you let go?"... read more..