You might be a nurse if...

~ You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

~ It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.

~ You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."

~ You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

~ You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.

~ You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.

~ You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.

~ You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.

~ You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.