A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself, "You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you are the boss."

Of course, the husband takes the doctor's advice.

He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife's face, and growls, "From now on, you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I'm going out with the boys and you are going to stay at home where you belong. 

And another thing ... you know who's going to comb my hair, adjust my pants, and then tie my tie?"

"I certainly do," says his wife calmly ...

"The undertaker!"