Ten things you don't want to hear in a tattoo Parlor:

1.  "Eagle?  I thought you said BEAGLE."

2.  "We're all out of red, so I used pink."

3.  "There are 3 B's in Bob, right?"

4.  "Sorry, sir, your chest will only hold a dinghy."

5.  "That call was for you. Hope you meet someone else named Tahiti Sweetie."

6.  "I hate it when I get the hiccups."

7.  "Anything else you want to say? You've got plenty of room back here."

8.  "I'll bet you can't tell I've never done this before."

9.  "The flag's all done and, you know, the folds of fat make a nice waving effect."

10.  "Ooooooops!"