A plane took off from Louisville International Airport, and when it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain started his announcements over the intercom. 

"Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking.  Welcome to Flight Number 254, nonstop from Louisville to Miami.  The weather ahead is good and we expect a smooth and uneventful flight.  So just sit back and relax - OH NOOOOOOOO!"

Silence followed for several minutes.

Finally the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for the earlier scare.  While I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled it in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants!"

Back in coach, a passenger said to the person next to him, "That's nothing!  He should see the back of mine!"