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Details
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Written by: Pastor Tim
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- Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
- Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
- Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
- Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.
- Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
- Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
- Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
- Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.
- Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
- Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
- Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
- Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
- Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.
- Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
- Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
- Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
- Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
- Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
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