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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt and I are off on another trip to a nation's capital - this time it's Canada's!
In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this picture of our time with Abraham Lincoln Last week.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
Computer Support Woes
Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
*Note the word 'former' in the above statement!!
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.", "Went away?".... "They disappeared?"
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
......"Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
......"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
......"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
One-Liner #1921
I just learned the professional way to say "I told you so":
"This was identified early on as a likely outcome."
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Yardstick Fiasco:📏😱
Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won't be making them any longer.
Quote #2356
"Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry."
- Toby Mac #SpeakLife
Everything I Learned From a Cow
1. Wake up in a happy mooo-d.
2. Don't cry over spilled milk.
3. When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!
4. The grass is green on the other side of the fence.
5. Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.
6. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!
7. It's better to be seen and not herd.
8. Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.
9. Never take any bull from anybody.
10. Always let them know who's the bossy.
11. Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.
12. Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.
13. Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
Memories of a Father
- photo by Susan PageIt takes time to sift through our memories, and the process can be like peering into a murky mirror. There may be a distorted mixed bag of recollections in the form of words that were said and perhaps conversations that never happened.
The passage of time allows us to gain a new perspective, and when looking back, we may discover things we might have missed, and it’s like unravelling a tangled ball of yarn, which is a messy process. There are old black-and-white mental reflections that tumble through our memory banks like the jittery images found in ancient family movies.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.