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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone.

Grandma Cybersalt and I are in "getting ready for the next trip" mode, which includes getting things together so we can try and keep sending the Digest out as we travel about.

So with that news, enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

It's been a while since we saw a goober joke on the CleanLaugh list. For those who don't know what a goober is (according to me) you can see a picture of one here.

A goober was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.

She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."

Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

The goober thought for a time and then asked, "Is it turned on or off?"

I wish my life had background music so I could understand what is going on.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

It was reported recently that a Washington bureaucrat sent a letter to the state of New Mexico requesting the number of cattle guards in the state.

The state promptly responded. 

When Washington saw the number they too responded promptly: "That's too many. You'll have to fire about half of them."

"The Purpose of Propaganda is to make one set of people forget that other sets of people are human."

- Aldous Huxley

Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. Not only that, I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, behaviorally modify disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and T-shirt messages.

I am to fight the war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for guns and raise their self-esteem. I'm to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, how and where to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads occasionally for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of potential antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, always make sure that I give the girls in my class 50 percent of my attention.

I'm required by my contract to be working on my own time summer and evenings at my own expense toward advance certification and a master's degree; and after school, I am to attend committee and faculty meetings and participate in staff development training to maintain my employment status.

I am to be a paragon of virtue larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. I am to pledge allegiance to supporting family values, a return to the basics, and to my current administration. I am to incorporate technology into the learning, and monitor all Web sites while providing a personal relationship with each student. I am to decide who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit crimes in school or who is possibly being abused, and I can be sent to jail for not mentioning these suspicions.

I am to make sure all students pass the state and federally mandated testing and all classes, whether or not they attend school on a regular basis or complete any of the work assigned. Plus, I am expected to make sure that all of the students with handicaps are guaranteed a free and equal education, regardless of their mental or physical handicap. I am to communicate frequently with each student's parent by letter, phone, newsletter and grade card.

I'm to do all of this with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a 45 minute more-or-less plan time and a big smile, all on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps in many states. Is that all?

And you want me to do all of this and expect me NOT TO PRAY?

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Many things in life can be rather dangerous. For me, the most dangerous things in my life are thoughts.

I thought about this one day, and by the end of the day, I was in deep trouble. Thoughts have a way of doing that with me.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.