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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

Wow, is it every cold at Cybersalt World Headquarters! My dad has a saying for how cold it is, but like a lot of sayings that dad's have. I can't print it here, lol, but trust me, it really is that cold!

Today's video share has me rethinking my strategy about keeping mice out of the house (not that I have any complaints about Grandma Cybersalt!)
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

Losing weight is the number one New Year's Resolution.

The problem is, hardly anything works.

Well, I found this one diet that will absolutely shed the pounds.

Read it and see if you don't agree. It works for my two-year-old.

Miracle Toddler Diet! Guaranteed Results!

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days.

Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two-year-olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !

DAY ONE:

Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.
Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.
Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite.
Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO:

Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.
Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt.
Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.
Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

DAY THREE:

Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair.
Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.
After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.
Lunch: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Spit several bites onto the floor.
Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.
Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY:

Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar.
Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet.
Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Enjoy!

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.

- Jerry Seinfeld

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

My wife made me join a bridge club.

I jump off next Saturday.

"Holy joy lies in the habit of murmuring thanks to God for the smallest of graces."

- Ann Voskamp

A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news.

Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in heaven with God now."

The boy replied, "What's God gonna' do with a dead cat?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I must confess I heavily lean towards being a workaholic; I just love working and keeping myself busy.

Years ago, I discovered that the busier I am, the less liable I am to get into trouble. No matter the trouble, I just don’t like it.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.