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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

With less than one month to go until Christmas day Grandma Cybersalt and I have yet to unpack any of our decorations. But I think today is the day when we will get much of it done because Susan is under the weather, so a slow afternoon of decking the halls is in order.

Today's video share shows a great way to stay warm while playing Christmas music!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. 

The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up). 

I was horrified.  When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming?  Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice ....

1: More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.

2: Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3: In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4: More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5: Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse.  The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6: Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.

7: Bread has been proven to be addictive.  Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, actually begged for bread after only two days.

8: Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to harder items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.

9: Bread has been proven to absorb water.  Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10: Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!  That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

11: Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1: No sale of bread to minors.
2: No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
3: A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4: No animal or human images, nor any primary colours (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5: A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers.

Please send this article on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue.

Remember: Think globally, act idiotically.

I can't keep calm; I'm Scottish!

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

A mother was dropping her son off at a friend's house.

She said to him, "Will you be good while Mommy's gone?"

The boy replied, "If you give me a dollar!"

His mother shook her head and said to him, "Why can't you be good for nothing like your father?!"

"The enemy knows your name, but calls you by your sin. God knows your sin, but calls you by your name."

- Unknown

This past Saturday I took my three children to the zoo.

My middle child was busy explaining about all the animals to her younger sister.

Being the know-it-all she is at the age of five she was telling her sister who is 3 all about the hippoprotestants.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Of all the things I prioritize in my life, laughter is at the top of the list. I appreciate laughter more than any other thing.

Some people get paid for their jokes, while others pay mightily. I am in the latter category. I like to make people laugh, but sometimes it costs me.

Whenever I see somebody with a frown, my first thought is how to make that person laugh. If it's in the supermarket and they're walking down the aisle toward me, I put in gear something to make them laugh. Usually, it works, but once in a while, it doesn't.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.