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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Turkey Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt returned on Saturday evening to find house and husband intact!
Today's video share shows the making of a huge piece of pottery that takes 3 men to sculpt. I wish a could be there to see when it is delivered from the factory; I am sure it would be the biggest bowl movement I have ever seen!
Click here to watch the video
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Stolen Turkey
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
One-Liner #1787
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion. But doesn't.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Turkey Puns
The following is especially foul - even for this list!
"TALKING TURKEY"
What does a turkey say?
"Gobble, gobble, gobble?" ....... Not always!
What does ...
A jewelry-lovin' turkey:
"Bauble bauble bauble"
A dyslexic turkey say?
"Boggle Boggle Boggle"
A turkey in the shoe repair shop say?
"Cobble cobble cobble"
A turkey who was an old-time movie fan say?
"Gable, Gable, Gable!"
A turkey with a sore throat say?
"Gargle Gargle Gargle"
A turkey with a sore leg say?
"Hobble hobble hobble."
A football turkey say?
"Huddle, huddle, huddle"
A dieting turkey:
"Nibble, nibble nibble."
A one-legged Cockney turkey
"'Obble 'Obble 'Obble"
A turkey who argues a lot:
"Squabble squabble squabble."
What does Dr. Seuss' turkey say?
"Tweedle beetle paddle battle puddle wobble hobble gobble."
Then there was the dizzy Turkey who just went...
"Wobble Wobble Wobble!"
Quote #2223
"Healing also means taking an honest look at the role you play in your own suffering."
- Unknown
Before and After Thankfulness
When I was younger, I remember receiving the inevitable homework assignment to write an essay on "something I am thankful for." Then I'd spend a lot of time sitting in my room trying to figure out just what in the world that could possibly be; and I'd end up writing down everything I could think of from God to environmental consciousness.
But after having children, my priorities have clearly changed:
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful to have been born the USA, the most powerful free democracy in the world.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes -- which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the back seat windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto the freeway.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the recycling program which will preserve our natural resources and prevent the overloading of landfills.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a blimp the size of, say, New Jersey, on his bottom.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for microwaveable macaroni and cheese -- without which my children would be surviving on about three bites of cereal and their own spit.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the opportunity to obtain a college education and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being interrupted.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to "cause drowsiness" in young children.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for all of the teachers who had taught, encouraged and nurtured me throughout my formative years.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for all of the people at Weight Watcher who let me strip down to pantyhose and a strategically placed scarf before getting on the scale each week.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for the Butterball turkey hotline.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car, and trendy clothes.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Another Turkey in the Oven
What would Thanksgiving be without a turkey? I read somewhere that over 45 million turkeys are purchased during the Thanksgiving holiday. I’m unsure if that’s correct, but I believe it comes close to the mark.
Thanksgiving is always my favorite time because the focus of Thanksgiving is food. Nobody loves food more than I do. I am always anxious for our Thanksgiving dinner to come.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.