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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone.

The local speedway I raced at as the "Pastor of Disaster" is closing in a week. Last night was the last night for the class of racing I enjoyed driving the most - demo trucks.

I actually was not able to attend because I left it too late to buy tickets and the event was sold out. Fortunately, they did live stream the event on Facebook so I was able to watch from home. Even thought I wish I could be there, I didn't mind being home immediately after it was over instead of having to wait an hour to get out of the parking lot!

Today's video share is of a pretty cool bike design that serves no purpose other than the fun of making it - or watching it being made.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answers:

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forgot.

CAPTAIN JAMES T.  KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man.  The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M.  NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.  I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road ..  it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die.  In the rain.

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

HILLARY CLINTON: It was part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against my husband.

BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road.  Not a single time.  Never.
(It was a boulevard.)

My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the heck is really going on down there? Who is the real hero?

- Mitch Hedberg

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Clothes don't necessarily make the man, but a good suit makes a lawyer.

"We must meet the uncertainties of this world with the certainty of the world to come."

- A. W. Tozer

Patsy, 3, was at church with her parents. Her family had already given, but when the collection basket got close Patsy insisted that her mother give her some money to put in.

Her mother tried to explain that they had already given, but when the basket reached their pew Patsy announced loudly, "We are out of money!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

A few months ago, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage bought a harp and began teaching herself how to play it. She can play the piano, organ, flute, and sometimes me. Now she has graduated to the harp. So I guess she’s preparing for heaven, where she’ll play a heavenly harp.

She was quite quick in learning how to play and I could hear her play hymns in the afternoon. I knew every hymn she played, or most of them, and quietly sang along with her. But not loud enough for her to hear.

I have no idea how to play a harp, and believe me, I will not try. Although I love music, music doesn’t seem to love me.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.