Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that many of you sent solutions and other fun sentences to the express the intent of the sentence you can speak but is impossible to write down: "There are 3 *twos*" in the English language.

Here they are in the order I received them:

"It is too hard to solve two problems at once."
- G. Taylor

"My friend and I decided that the two of us want to join the challenge, too!"
J Bodman

"The word pronounced "tōō" in English can be spelled 3 ways and mean different things."
R. Outler

"There are three words in the English language (to, too and two) all pronounced the same."
P. Ward

"There are too many of you to ask for two tutus!"
P. Stewart

"February 22nd 2022 (2/22/22) falls on a Wednesday, but we'll be able to call it 2's Day."
J. J. Westberg

"There are three English words that sound like two."
M. Wildner

"Just thought in the light of your comments around "to, too, two", you'd appreciate me sharing this.
How do you soothe a grammar pendant? 'There, their, they're.'"
M. Howard

"In the English language we use "two, to, and too" at different times, and they are all pronounced the same way."
W. McLauren

Thank you, everyone, for the fun and creativity. Some of you actually stayed on task!

And now the bad news.

I thought a clever way to solve the sentence would be to say, "There are 3 tews in the English language" since the reader would be forced to make the sound of the sentence's meaning.

But then I decided I better check and make sure "tew" was not a real world. And guess what? According to Miriam Webster (who admittedly has caused me a lot of problems down through the years) "tew" is actually a word. You can read the definition (by clicking here) and you will see it has two meanings.

You realize what this means, right?

In the English language, there are four . . . . . . .  . . 

Crap!

~ Pastor Tim

The police recently busted a man selling 'secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.

He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink; turns out it was the refrigerator.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."

“One important dimension of prayer is finding your own ritual and your own routine. Just like Daniel, you need to find your open window toward Jerusalem.”

- Mark Batterson

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus.

The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.

His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Good grief man, don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

"Oh no!" screamed the lawyer, looking down at his missing arm. "Where's my Rolex?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.