Cybersalt News
Sunday Greetings everyone.
Grandma Cybersalt is back so I am happy to offer the full menu in today's digest!
The definition of a "Good Day" has changed over the years for Rev. James Snyder. You can read "If Every Dog Has Its Day I Should Be Barking" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/if-every-dog-has-its-day-i-should-be-barking
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Political Correctness For Kids
Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."
Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."
Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."
You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1425
Self-Annihilating Sentences
A good system can transform complexity into chaos!
Today's Clean Pun
Planetary Emotion
The only thing that flat-earthers fear ...
...is sphere itself.
Today's Quote
Quote #1863
What is sin?
Sin is the glory of God not honored,
the holiness of God not reverenced,
the greatness of God not admired,
the power of God not praised,
the truth of God not sought,
the wisdom of God not esteemed,
the beauty of God not treasured,
the goodness of God not savored,
the faithfulness of God not trusted,
the promises of God not believed,
the commandments of God not obeyed,
the justice of God not respected,
the wrath of God not feared,
the grace of God not cherished,
the presence of God not prized,
the person of God not loved.
That is sin.
- John Piper
Today's Illustration
Church Problems
I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the sanctuary is a restroom facility that is separate from other buildings. A common topic of conversation was a problem that was occurring this year - bugs and crickets seem to seek refuge in the restroom.
One evening during church service, my granddaughter asked me where the bathroom was because she needed to use it. I told her she could use the restroom behind the sanctuary.
She exclaimed, "Grandma, I am afraid to go to that restroom because there are a lot of bugs and hypocrites in there!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.