Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
Recently, Rev. James Snyder's day alone worked out better than he could have ever imagined! You can read "It Was a Belly-Binge Kind of Day" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/it-was-a-belly-binge-kind-of-day
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Cereal Adjustment
Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice.
But after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff. It goes down real rough."
"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"
"You're supposed to cook it?" he said.
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1412
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself!
Today's Clean Pun
Diet Exclamation
"I've lost a lot of weight," Tom expounded.
Today's Quote
Quote #1853
"Holiness is not the way to Christ. Christ is the way to holiness."
- Adrian Rogers
Today's Illustration
Prayer mx24
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666)
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3-16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.