Issue #4418
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Purse Contents
As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag.
When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse.
"We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there."
As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse and we'd like to see just how you do it."
Today's One Liner
Oneliner #1346
Not knowing about Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' Horse.
Today's Clean Pun
Lucky He is Wearing a Tuxedo
Did you hear about the emperor penguin?
He had a freezing reign.
Today's Quote
Quote #1788
"Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change.
Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change."
- unknown
Today's Illustration
Master's Card
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's Mastercard. I'm sure you've all received their applications in the mail.
However, I'm here to advertise a different card. You see, my life is a product for others to see. I'm a card-carrying representative for the Master's Card. That's right, the MASTER'S CARD.
**Let me tell you about it.**
There are no finance charges, no payments due. My bill has already been covered...it's a prepaid deal. I couldn't afford the price, so Jesus stepped in and paid it for me.
My name is written on the card for all to see. It is accessible twenty-four hours a day from anywhere in the world.
The MASTER'S CARD has so many benefits it's hard to list them all. Let me share some of them with you... you might want to apply for a personal card yourself.
Just for starters, there is:
UNLIMITED GRACE.
That's right, there is no preset limit to the amount of grace you receive from the MASTER'S CARD. Have you been looking for love in all the wrong places? Then, look no farther than the MASTER'S CARD. It offers the greatest rate on love that has ever been offered.
The MASTER'S CARD gives you access to many "members only" benefits:
- Want real joy despite the difficulties of life? Apply for the MASTER'S CARD.
- Want a lasting peace? Apply for the MASTER'S CARD.
- Looking for something you can always rely on in a jam? The MASTER'S CARD is perfect for you.
Another great thing about The MASTER'S CARD is that it never expires and will never be canceled. Once you're a member, you're a member for life... eternal life, that is. Membership has its privileges, you know.
So why not apply today? It's only a prayer away...
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.