Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

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Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Ode To Finals Week

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreaded exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were all shot.
I stared at my notes, but my thoughts they were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.

When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
She wore a white toga, she started to bellow:

"What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?"
"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!"

Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy finals to all, and to all, a good test!"

Today's One Liner

One-liner #1336

I am a firm believer in optimism; because if you don't have optimism, what else is there?

Today's Clean Pun

Nor Motorcycles

If snowmen can't ride bicycles, tricycles, or unicycles, what can they ride?

Icicles!

Today's Quote

Quote #1778

"Faith is not primarily a function of how you feel. Faith is living out, trusting, and believing what truth is despite what you feel."

- Timothy Keller

Today's Illustration

Christmas Love

The students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Those in the front row - center stage - held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song.

As the class was to sing "C is for Christmas," a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love."

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M” upside down - totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W".

A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen.

For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear:

"C H R I S T  W A S  L O V E"

And I believe He still is.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.