Issue #4365
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Cooking Terms
Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.
Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.
Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.
Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.
The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.
Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.
Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.
Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.
Today's One Liner
Oneliner #1295
I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
Today's Clean Pun
Hemoglobin Mystery
Today's Quote
Quote #1736
"The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it."
- George Orwell
Today's Illustration
Expenses
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand.
"How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $500."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.