Issue #4358
Cybersalt News
Sunday Greetings everyone!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Saved by the Tomato
A story is told of an unemployed man who is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."
Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this, the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address, you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."
Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lb crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes.
In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.
During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week, he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.
Early in the second week, he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.
At the end of a year, he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.
By the end of the second year, he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.
Time passes and at the end of the fifth year, he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse which his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars.
Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.
When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"
"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1288
Self-Annihilating Sentences
I've told you a million times not to exaggerate.
Today's Clean Pun
Dirt Mystery
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens.
Today's Quote
Quote #1729
"Lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep."
- John G. Stevens
Today's Illustration
Appearances #4
On the weekend of the biggest motorcycle gathering of the year, I was bar-tending at a club nearby. When the roaring machines pulled up outside, our patrons' eyes swung toward the door and conversation turned into uneasy whispering.
A group of tough looking bikers walked up to the bar, and one of them asked me where the phone was. I pointed it out, and the silence in the room let everybody overhear what the biker said into the receiver.
"Hi, Mom. Just want to let you know I'll be home late tonight."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.