Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
There is a new FunBlog Entry on the Cybersalt Site today. It shows that the good people at Boston Dynamics have probably never seen any of those movies where robots try to wipeout the human race. It also shows that not even Canada will be able to stop them. You will find "Boston Dynamics Robots" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/boston-dynamics-robots
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Don't Have Any
A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small notebooks?"
"Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."
The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?"
"Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.
The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"
The manager shrugs, "Sorry."
"Hmmph. How about Chapstick?" says the woman.
"Nope. Don't have that."
"Well" the woman says, "If you don't have anything, why don't you close the store?"
The manager shrugs, "Can't. Don't have the key."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1169
Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people; we haven't met yet.
Today's Clean Pun
Late Night Resolve
I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!
Today's Quote
Quote #1617
"Don’t eat till your stomach cries out. Don’t sleep till you can’t stay awake. Don’t open your mouth till it’s the truth opens it."
Medieval spiritual formation
- Frederick Buechner
Today's Illustration
Worry
A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though he'd just escaped a tornado.
"What's wrong?" a woman asked.
"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.
"What? But Houlihan's the worst player I've ever seen. How could he have beaten you?"
"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes - any handicap he wanted. He said, 'Just give me two gotchas.'"
"What's a gotcha?" asked the woman.
"That's what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said, 'You'll see.' Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club poised, he grabbed my shorts and gave me a wedgie and screamed out 'Gotcha!'"
"I can guess what happened," the woman said.
"Sure," the pro said. "That gotcha threw me off, and I missed the ball completely."
"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that's only one swing. How did he win the game?"
The pro answered, "I couldn't swing well the rest of the game because I was watching out for that second 'gotcha!'"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.