Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
Today, on the Cybersalt Site, Rev. James Snyder is thinking about all the things there are to do and the things he is able to do. You can read "The Strange Myth of Multitasking" at:
www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/how-i-beat-the-emotional-blocks-to-decluttering-downsizing
Also, the Westside Bible Church website has been updated with the audio recording my sermon from last Sunday. It starts out with a discussion on faith between comedians Ricky Gervais and Stephen Colbert. You can listen to "Don't Treat Prophecy with Contempt" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/don-t-treat-prophecy-with-contempt
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Valentine's Day
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1164
The relationship between Husband and Wife is very psychological; one is Psycho and the other is Logical - and whatever you do, don't try to figure out Who is Who.
Today's Clean Pun
Valentine Puns
Please, under no circumstances think that I do not realize the following Valentine puns are anything other than painful and torturous. But for those who like that flavor of the genre, here you go, lol!
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A hog and kisses!
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!
What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!
Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Jon: "Really?"
Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!
What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my Valenstein!"
Today's Quote
Quote #1612
"Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy."
- Thomas Merton
Today's Illustration
Cakes and Ale and Legalism
Here is a purported-to-be-true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him cakes and ale. The following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me cakes and ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me cakes and ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred-year-old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section that read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require cakes and ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily eating and slurping away.
Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.