Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
There is a new Rev. James Snyder devotional on the Cybersalt Site today. It turns out that James is pretty self-conscious about his breath. The good thing is that he is very aware that it is God who gives it to him. You can read "Bad Breath Ain’t Always That Bad" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/bad-breath-ain-t-always-that-bad
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Modern Tool Reality
Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.
Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
Halogen Light - A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.
Cell Phone - The handyman's 911.
Chain Saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1129
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
Today's Clean Pun
Florida News
Florida News: Now they are using alligators to make belts....
It's amazing what you can get alligators to do.
Today's Quote
Quote #1577
"You can know you have made God in your own image when He starts hating the same people you do."
– Anonymous
Today's Illustration
Home Life
A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang.
In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook.
As it fell, it hit the family dog, which leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams.
The woman mumbled some colorful words.
She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband's voice on the other end say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but it certainly sounds as if I have the right number."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.