Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
My last two sermons (the first two after my 29 week stretch of not preaching) are on the Westside Bible Church web site.
You'll find "Elephant Killing Wisdom" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/elephant-killing-wisdom
You'll find "To Condemn or Not Condemn - There is No Question" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/to-condemn-or-not-condemn-there-is-no-question
There is also a new Rev. James Snyder devotional on the Cybersalt Site today. James has written his own script for when certain telemarketers call his cell phone. You can read "Pursuing A Course In Apple-Fritterology" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/pursuing-a-course-in-apple-fritterology
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Engine Trouble
Many years ago before the days of cell phones and data, a friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance.
A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location."
"I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish."
The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?"
"I-75, two miles south of Standish."
A longer pause. Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit shore?"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1127
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
Today's Clean Pun
Self Static
"I keep shocking myself," said Tom, revolted.
Today's Quote
Quote #1575
"The eyes of all look to you, LORD, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."
Psalm 145:15-16
Today's Illustration
Someone Who Understands
Bob Weber, past president of Kiwanis International, told this story. He had spoken to a club in a small town and was spending the night with a farmer on the outskirts of the community. He had just relaxed on the front porch when a newsboy delivered the evening paper. The boy noted the sign "Puppies for Sale". The boy got off his bike and said to the farmer, "How much do you want for the pups, mister?"
"Twenty-five dollars, son."
The boy's face dropped. "Well, sir, could I at least see them anyway?"
The farmer whistled, and in a moment the mother dog came bounding around the corner of the house tagged by four of the cute puppies, wagging their tails and yipping happily. At last, another pup came straggling around the house, dragging one hind leg.
"What's the matter with that puppy, mister?" the boy asked.
"Well, Son, that puppy is crippled. We took her to the vet and the doctor took an X ray. The pup doesn't have a hip joint and that leg will never be right."
To the amazement of both men, the boy dropped the bike, reached for his collection bag and took out a fifty-cent piece. "Please, mister," the boy pleaded, "I want to buy that pup. I'll pay you fifty cents every week until the twenty-five dollars is paid. Honest I will, mister."
The farmer replied, "But, Son, you don't seem to understand. That pup will never, never be able to run or jump. That pup is going to be a cripple forever. Why in the world would you want such a useless pup as that?"
The boy paused for a moment, then reached down and pulled up his pant leg, exposing that all too familiar iron brace and leather knee-strap holding a poor twisted leg. The boy answered, "Mister, that pup is going to need someone who understands him to help him in life!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.