Cybersalt News
There is a new funny car picture on the Cybersalt site today. Being married to a trades-person isn't always the blessing some imagine, as you will see in "Plumber Repair" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/plumber-repair
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Worst Horse Ever
A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has ever seen. It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them. If it doesn't win today the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.
The jockey mounts up and takes the horse down to the start.
The race begins and the horse is immediately 10 lengths behind the pack. So the jockey gives the horse a sharp thwap on the shoulder.
Nothing.
He then gives him a series of strikes on the rump.
Nothing.
He then gives him two wallops right on the hindquarters.
The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns to the jockey and says "Give it a rest with that whip, will ya, buddy? I have to be up at four in the morning to deliver milk."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1017
One of the 'World's Strongest Man' events should be "Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together."
Today's Clean Pun
Attention Fords!
If you leave a bottle of Ritalin inside a Ford Fiesta it will become a Ford Focus.
Today's Quote
Quote #1465
"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."
- Zephaniah 3:17
Today's Illustration
Winning Arguments
One day I found Morris, my five-year-old son, with the telephone, which he quickly hung up when he saw me.
"What were you doing?" I asked him.
"Calling Aunt Sarah."
"How could you have called Aunt Sarah?" I asked. "You don't even know her number."
"Yes, I do and I did call her," little Morris replied.
I wasted a lot of breath trying to convince him that he didn't know her number, but he insisted he had made the call.
"Okay," I said finally. "What did she say then, if you called her?"
"She told me I had the wrong number."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.