Cybersalt News - February 12, 2016
It's a few days late for the best timing of this Cybersalt classic funny sign picture (which I actually took of a friend's church in 2009). Just the same, the idea of shoving pancakes has as fun ring to it any time of the year:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/pancakes-on-tuesday
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
Today's CleanLaugh
Missing You
Dave went on a business trip for a few days.
When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him.
"She spent every night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said.
"What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?"
"Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #0989
So apparently the security guard at Safeway didn't believe that life gave me that lemon.
Today's Clean Pun
Horse Knock-Off
You mean you've never knocked a guy off a horse with a lance before?
Surely you joust!
Today's Quote
Quote #1438
"I like going the extra mile, it's usually less crowded."
Today's Illustration
Generosity
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, . . go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted lastyear is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.