Issue #3936

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

Oh look, yesterday was Chicken Thursday!  Thanks to L.B. Farley for reminding me!

There is a new funny picture on the Cybersalt site today.  You'll find "Aquarium Cleaner" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/aquarium-cleaner

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Parenting Idea

Picture of a car alarm remoteI was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation.

"What good are car alarms when no one pays any attention to them?" I wondered aloud.

"Some are quite effective," my friend corrected me.

"Last summer, my teenager spent a lot of time at the neighbors'.

Whenever I wanted him home, I'd go out to the driveway and jostle his car."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0908

a picture of sconesScones are just biscuits that have studied abroad.



Here is today's CleanPun

Massage Therapy

foot rubI got fired from a massage therapy office.

I kept rubbing people the wrong way.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1356

picture of an angry young manANGER is but one letter short of DANGER.


Here is today's Illustration

Ministry Frustrations

picture of a chandelierA new young minister got his first charge - a tiny church way out on the prairies. He traveled from the big city early to familiarize himself with the parish, and visited the church on Wednesday. It was dark and dreary inside, and remembering the suggestion that he find a cause to get the congregation working together, he got the bright idea that hey should raise funds to buy a chandelier to hang in the middle of the sanctuary, and spent the next three days preparing his sermon.

On Sunday morning he spent twenty minutes telling the congregation how great it would be to have a chandelier, He chandeliered this - and he chandeliered that, and finished his sermon with a big pitch for funds with which to buy a glorious chandelier that would mean so much to the people of this parish. He felt after all the handshakes, and seeing the families off that he had made a successful presentation.

After three weeks, having heard no feedback he stopped one of the elders on the way out and asked him the direct question. What are you going to do about the chandelier? Oh, we talked about that and decided against it - you see nobody around here knows how to spell that word - so even if we got one of them things - there's not a soul within a hundred miles who knows how to play one - and furthermore, what this church really needs is more lights.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org