Cybersalt News

There is a new funny Christmas picture on the Cybersalt site today.  You will find "Tree Guilt" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-christmas-pictures/tree-guilt

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Doily Box

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.

For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.

Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained.

"She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."

Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.

"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.

"Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."

One-liner #0906

Fed-Ex and UPS reported today that they are merging under the new name "Fed-Up" and that they are disbanding their entire customer service department.

Crow Report

Well, it is not a pretty story.

About 200 dead crows were found near the city of Regina and there was concern for Avian Flu.

They had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.

However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by cars.

The Province of Saskatchewan then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.

The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.

When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out Crow" in a nearby tree, to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."

Quote #1354

“Sin is the dare of God’s justice, the rape of his mercy, the jeer of his patience, and the contempt of his love.”
- John bunyan

Family Relationships

I ran short of money while visiting my brother, and borrowed $50 from him.

After my return home, I wrote him a short letter every few weeks, enclosing a $5 check in each one. He called me up and told me how much he enjoyed the letters, regardless of the money; I had never written regularly before.

Eventually I sent off a letter and the last five-dollar check.

In my mail box the next week I found an envelope from my brother. Inside was another $50.