Doctor's Party Advice
 Judi strolled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said coyly, "Doctor, may I ask a question?"
"Certainly," he said.
"Lately," said Judi, "I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart . . ."
The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Judi, but I'm a doctor of philosophy."
"Oooh," she said, "I'm sorry!"
She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is 'philosophy'?"
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"Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady.
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have."
"She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue their whole life through, then passed right by - and never knew."