Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone and happy Mother's Day!

It's been a while since I was able to send out the Cybersalt Digest, but I made the extra effort today so I could tell you all what a great mom I have (that's right mom, this is all I got you for Mother's Day.)  I have so much to thank my mom for that I could not list everything here, but suffice it to say that I am so thankful for all the the hard work and sacrifices she made for me as a baby, a child, a teenager and now as a grandmother to my kids.

I also want to wish my wife a happy Mother's Day.  Years ago I asked Susan what she wanted for Mother's Day and she replied very curtly, "I'm not your mother."  Her response left me pretty happy because I was freed from the pressure to buy an appropriate gift.  Over the next couple of years, however, I learned that even though she does not want a Mother's Day gift from me she does want Mother's Day appreciation.  I am so thankful to Mrs. Cybersalt (my babies' momma) for how she has blessed my life by being such an incredible mother to our 3 kids.  Were it not for her not only would they have never been born, but they would also not know what the inside of a public library looks like, that you can get more than just ham or bologna from a supermarket and that standing by and staying with your husband even while he is still growing up really is a long term plan for happiness.

Actually, this Mother's Day is one of firsts for Susan in that none of our kids are home this year AND it is also the first Mother's Day since her own mother passed away.  That's the strange thing about these special days we celebrate: there are always others that are saddened by the same celebration and even others who are qualified to be members of both groups.  For me as a husband, on Mother's Day I can only do what a husband can figure out along the way.  For me as a Christian, I am thankful once again that our lives can be filled with the Hope of Jesus love for us whether we are celebrators, mourners, or both.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

What Mom's Really Want

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want...*

10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash)

9. To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

8. Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.

7. A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.

6. A full time cleaning person - period!

5. For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

4. A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

3. To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

2. To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me...!"

And the #1 thing that moms REALLY want is.....

Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison

One-liner #0847

"Living with a toddler is like using a blender with no lid."

Look Like Mom

A two-and-a-half-year-old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up.

"I'm going to look just like you, Mommy!" she announced.

"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.

"No Mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use."

Quote #1296

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
- Mark Twain

Motherly Ways

Tammy and Sean had been living together for about 6 months. Sean's mother had always been suspicious of the two's relationship, even though her son insisted there was nothing going on.

One day the mother decided to stop by. Her son seemed surprised but pleased she had come, and gave her a tour of the house. The mother seemed suspicious that Tammy's room was spotless, and Sean's room was very messy with (women's) clothes all over the floor. Sean assured his mother that this was because the hamper was in his room, and nothing was going on. Before they left, her son and Tammy invited her to have Thanksgiving with them. Thanksgiving came, and once again Sean assured his mother that nothing was going on.

A few days later, Tammy noticed that her tea kettle was missing. She asked Sean about it, and neither could find it. "Your mother must have taken it" Tammy insisted. Finally, Sean called his mother after it had been missing for another couple of days.

"Mom, I need to ask you a question. "

"Of course son"

"Well, our tea kettle is missing, did you place it somewhere or possibly take it?" His mother seemed hurt." Honey, I can't believe..."

"I know mom, but you were the only one here."

"No, son, " his mother said knowledgeably." I can't believe you lied to me."

"But I haven't mom" Sean protested.

"Son, if Tammy had been sleeping in her own bed, you would have found the kettle by now."