Cybersalt News

There are 11 funny pages transferred to the New Cybersalt Site today.  That's more than are displayed in the sidebar of today's mailing, so if you want to see them all start at "Donkey Lift" and then keep clicking the "next" button on each page.
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/donkey-lift

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Rules for Laboratory Workers

Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.

3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.

4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.

5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.

6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.

9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

One-liner #0735

"There's too much blood in my caffeine system."

Police Dogs

"Police dogs are often the scenter of a drug arrest."

Quote #1188

"The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes."

Enormously Gorgeous

My Dad says I am Enormously Gorgeous. I wonder if I really am?

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Sarah says you need to have beautiful long curly hair like she has. I don't.

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Justin says you must have perfectly straight white teeth like he has. I don't.

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Jessica says you can't have any of those little brown dots on your face called freckles. I do.

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Mark says you have to be the smartest kid in the seventh grade class. I'm not.

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Stephen says you have to be able to tell the funniest jokes in the school. I don't.

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Lauren says you need to live in the nicest neighborhood in town and in the prettiest house. I don't.

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Matthew says you can only wear the coolest clothes and the most popular shoes. I don't.

To be Enormously Gorgeous...Samantha says you need to come from a perfect family. I don't.

But every night at bedtime my dad gives me a big hug and says, "You are Enormously Gorgeous, and I love you."

My dad must know something my friends don't.

- Carla O'Brien.