Cybersalt News, September 13, 2011

Today's featured page on the Cybersalt site may help you get more rest at work.  You can view "Head Face" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/head-face

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Omitted Stories

Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches.

At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience. Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles.

One article that came out the next day, written by a cub reporter, concluded with this line: "Reverend Smith also told a number of stories that cannot be printed."

One-liner #0714

"I have a million dollar figure -- but it's all loose change!"

Boiling Mad

"Doctor, Doctor! My husband makes me boiling mad!"

"Now, just simmer down."

Quote #1166

"Nuclear physics is much easier than tax law. It's rational and always works the same way."
 - Jerold Rochwald

Serving Money

An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he has."

They walked on a bit further and then came to another grave. The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to hell, he has."

The little boy thought for a while and then said, "You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky."

"Why?" asked the old man in surprise.

"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money to draw on."