Issue #3731


Cybersalt News

I've have just finished moving all of my past devotionals from the old site to the new Cybersalt Site.  They are in the Cybersalt Shaker area at:

www.cybersalt.org/blogs/totally-tim/cybersalt-shaker

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Maturity Under Attack

We Must Stop This!!

Have you ever noticed that when you're of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection........Well, REALLY NOW ......... even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You're risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on. But the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too. They've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon "everyone" will have to suffer these awful indignities.

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0702

A bumper sticker seen on a stealth bomber: "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THEN WE WASTED 50 BILLION BUCKS."


Here is today's CleanPun

Surgeon Book Return

A surgeon goes to return some books borrowed from the library. The librarian quips after checking the books, "Sir your books are always returned with the last page missing in every book."

The surgeon replies, "I can't stop myself from removing an appendix when ever I see one.

 


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1156

"I am not afraid of the dark - I am afraid of monsters."


Here is today's Illustration

Value For Money

Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted?

Dentist: $300

Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work, that expensive.

Dentist: O.K. I'll pull it out slowly if you prefer.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

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