Issue #3724


Cybersalt News

Does your dog bite?  That classic clip is the newest entry in the FunBlog.  You'll find it at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/does-your-dog-bite

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Carrier Landings 2

Flying into a Middle East airport, my co-pilot and I reviewed our flight plan for the trip back to the USS Enterprise. We were to pick up a Navy captain, and experience had taught me that even seasoned vets turn white-knuckled during carrier landings.

Once the captain was strapped in, I turned around to welcome him aboard. "Sir," I asked, "will this be your first carrier landing?"

Looking at me with disdain, he opened his inflatable vest to display gold wings above five rows of ribbons. "Son," he said, "I have over 500 carrier landings in jet fighters."

"That's good to hear," my co-pilot said, winking at me, "because this will be our first."

 

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0695

I'd like Google Maps a lot more if it were Google Naps.


Here is today's CleanPun

Literature Exam

My son stayed up half the night studying for his English Literature exam.  He would drink coffee almost constantly while attempting to read "The Canterbury Tales."

I awoke at 4 A.M. and found him studying with mug in hand, and asked him, "What have you got there?"  

He answered... "Just my cup and Chaucer."


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1149

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer."
- Albert Camus


Here is today's Illustration

Everything I Learned From A Cow

Everything I need to know I learnt from a cow

1. Wake up in a happy mooo-d.

2. Don't cry over spilled milk.

3. When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!

4. The grass is green on the other side of the fence.

5. Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.

6. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!

7. It's better to be seen and not herd.

8. Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.

9. Never take any bull from anybody.

10. Always let them know who's the bossy.

11. Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.

12. Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.

13. Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.


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