Issue #3713

Cybersalt News

Black and White vs. Color If you are subscribed to the black and white "text only" version of the Cybersalt Digest, you will notice that I have changed the mailing template so that you don't get the super-long links under the title for each item. In the dreamy, full coloured version of the Digest the item titles are hot-linked so that if you click on them you will be taken to their unique location on the Cybersalt Site.

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Today's new and improved featured page is "Bird Friendly" and you will find it at:

www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/bird-friendly

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Computer Customer Quotes

"Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!"

Customer: "I have Microword Soft."
Customer: "Microwave Windows?"
Customer: "Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?"
Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) "I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn't help."
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Customer: "I have Microscope Exploiter."
Customer: "I have Netscape Complicator."
Customer: "I have Netscape Regulator."
Customer: "Uhh...I have Newscape and Outlook Exposure."
Customer: "I use Outlook Explorer."
Customer: "I have a US Robotics Sportscaster modem."
Customer: "It's not my computer that is slow. I have a 200 horse power harddrive."

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Here is today's CleanPun

Clean Pun #0222

"When the automatic gas pumps ask me to select a grade I usually give a B for quality and an F for pricing."

Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0686

"The only thing to fear is fear itself... and spiders."

Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1138

"You can find on the outside only what you possess on the inside."
- Adolfo Montiel Ballesteros

Here is today's Illustration

Wish You Could Reboot?

Don't you wish when life is bad and things just don't compute,
That all we really had to do was stop and hit reboot?

Things would all turn out ok, life could be so sweet
If we had those special keys: Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

Your boss is mad, your bills not paid, your wife, well she's just mute
Just stop and hit those wonderful keys that make it all reboot.

You'd like to have another job but you fear living in the street?
You solve it all and start a new: Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

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The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3713 - August 5, 2011