April 2007 - Monthly Archive

30 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5770

Computer T-Shirt Slogans

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) Buy ... read more..

30 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3975

Haircut

Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all that hair.Susie: I didn't get it all cut.... read more..

30 Apr

Shirley Choat

2281

Good Morning 04-30

"Behold upon the mountains the feet of him that bringeth good things, that published peace. O Judah, keep thy solemn feasts, perform thy vows." - Nahum 1:15 A mighty army is en read more..

29 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5217

Happy Anniversary

The other day while driving home, after beng delayed at my office, I suddenly saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror. The police officer pulled me over for speeding. I explained to him tha... read more..

29 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3375

Don't Buy or Sell Jesus Insurance

Jesus is more than an insurance policy for the soul or a product to inflate the church's grwoth statistics. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20070429.mp3{/audio} read more..

28 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

19114

King of The Jungle

The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was king of the jungle. He was so confident that he bypassed the smal... read more..

28 Apr

Shirley Choat

1905

Good Morning 04-29

FOURTH SUNDAY AFTER EASTER Acts 9:1-22 Rev. 5:11-14 John 21:1-19* Psalm 30:4-12 I know I reversed last Sunday with this Sundays text, looked at the wrong line. This chapter of read more..

28 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2826

Speeding Registration

On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the flashing blue lights in my rear- view mirror made me realize that I'd been over the limit. I handed the officer ... read more..

28 Apr

Shirley Choat

2436

Good Morning 04-28

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." - James 1:17 In sprin read more..

27 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5000

Golf Meditations

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought... read more..

27 Apr

Shirley Choat

2938

Good Morning 04-27

"For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day." - 2 Corinthians 4:16 We hear a lot written by poets and artists about read more..

26 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5621

Caught in the Act

I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in my hand, she cried out, "I caught you!" I froze and tried to think of an explanation f... read more..

26 Apr

Shirley Choat

2246

Good Morning 04-26

"He brought me forth also into a large place." - Psalm 18:19 God had lifted the Psalmist out of the obscurity of a shepherd's life into the prominence and power of a ruler o read more..

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6059

Graceless at Grandma's

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate... read more..

25 Apr

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2256

Spit Art

I consider myself to be a fairly creative person. My problem is that I often feel frustrated trying to express my creativity. Sure, I'm very comfortable with humor and comedy, but wh read more..

24 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

8342

Midterm Exam

The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they r... read more..

24 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3272

Lost Money

The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She sent the following email: "If anybody can say where they lost $70, please let me know and it will be returned to ... read more..

24 Apr

Shirley Choat

2048

Good Morning 04-24

"Out of the depths have I cried unto Thee, O LORD." - Psalm 130:1 Two of the outstanding hymns which flowed from the heart of Dr. Martin Luther were "A Mighty Fortress is o read more..

23 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5212

Marine Mines

In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged to our drill instructor. For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash&quo... read more..

22 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6386

Little Encouragement

The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. I... read more..

22 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3866

Portrait of the Early Church

The early church wasn't as "great" as some have portrayed it to be. In Reality, the true picture of what it was (and what today's church needs to be) is much better anyway. read more..

21 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4889

Saintly Sons

Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two ye... read more..

20 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4529

Pick of the Crop

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large... read more..

19 Apr

Shirley Choat

2122

Good Morning 04-20

"Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips." - Psalm 141:3 When God gave a man the power of speech, He entrusted him with something which may bring life or d read more..

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4863

Smart Bus

My name is Pastor Jerry Evenson. I pastor a small church in central Idaho on an Indian Reservation. I work as a bus driver for the Lapwai School District. One of our bus drivers had ... read more..

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2893

Shopping Plan

In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son.As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the chil... read more..

19 Apr

Shirley Choat

3195

Good Morning 04-19

They said to each other, "Did not our hearts burn within us while He talked to us on the road, while He opened to us the Scriptures?" - Luke 24:32 I felt I needed to repeat this read more..

18 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4694

Pit Falls

This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was a mistake, because the gravediggers had just opened a new site, in preparations for a funeral early the n... read more..

17 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4461

High Tech Flying

The passengers on the jetliner were relaxing in their seats for the long flight. The voice over the loudspeaker had just announced that the aircraft had reached its cruising altitude and that read more..

17 Apr

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2659

Virus Spread

For years they've been telling us to not spread viruses. Wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough, and whatever you do, don't let the dog lick your face. I've figured out the reason for this... read more..